Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down...

I just got Rick Rolled. Happy April Fool's everyone.

Rotten Apples

Right now, I really want to listen to Queens "Another One Bites the Dust". I totally would too, but there is one small problem: I have no working iPod.

For Christmas 2 years ago, I received an first generation iPod Nano. Awesome, amazing, spectacular. I didn't have to lug around my CD player anymore! Life was good.
At least I thought it was until about a year ago, when the battery started to die and the whole thing turned to crap. At first it was simple, occasionally it wouldn't turn off for the first 2 or 3 tries. After time, it got worse and worse until it would die after one song. It became the most expensive paper weight I owned, but with it's super light weight it couldn't even do that job well! It was done. R.I.P iPizzle, you piece of garbage.

Now let's hop over to the 18th, my birthday. I had asked for a new iPod battery and the little tool to open the iPod. I think it's 16 bucks for the whole package. Instead, my parents got me an iPod Video Nano! Holy crap. I'm 100% okay with that substitution. What battery?
This thing rocks. Lot's of space for music, totally revamped iQuiz which is now fun, and videos. The quality is awesome! Now I can watch Stephen Colbert miss the God Machine anywhere I go!

Unfortunately this is where the honeymoon ends. Last night, I fell asleep while listening to my iPod, so I was unable to turn it off myself. With my previous nano, it would turn off on it's own. It slept when I slept. I guess Apple decided that wasn't so important anymore. This morning I wake up and my iPod is frozen. It apparently froze at 3:41 am, as that is the time that is stuck on the screen. Also, it says the lock is on, which I have tried turning on and off to no avail. The battery is shown to be half full, but I can't tell you the real level. Also, the back light is on, as if it's taunting me.

Dun Dun Dun... Another one bites the dust...

I tried to plug it into the computer, but all it did was practically destroy my computer. ITunes wouldn't come up, but when I tried to eject it via the toolbar it gave me some garbage about some application was using it, meaning somewhere on this computer iTunes had stolen my iPod. I decided to go against everything I stand for, and I unplugged it without ejecting. Suddenly iTunes popped up! What the Finland?!

Now, if any of you are skimming through this and thinking "OMG! TL;DR! LOL!" (because I know that you talk like that), here's what I'm getting at:

I have a love-hate relationship with iPods. They are my favorite of the mp3 players, because I love the wheel, the big screen, and the very organized and detailed menus. I just hate that they are the most expensive turds on the market.

Tomorrow is a trip to the Apple Store. Fingers crossed, people. Fingers crossed.

The Zed word, don't say it!

I just thought I'd warn all of you now, before it's "too late".

If there is ever going to be a zombie uprising, there is no doubt in my mind that the epicenter will be in San Jose. Curtner Avenue to be exaxt, and if you want to be even more exact, 300 Curtner Avenue, San Jose, CA 95125. Go ahead, write them a letter. Warn them.



Why here? This is the address of Oak Hill Cemetery. Sure, there are tons of cemeteries out there. What makes this one so special? Well, across from the Oak Hill Memorial Park*, on the other side of Curtner (right above the red circle thing) used to be a nuclear power plant. Even though the plant has since been demolished and a shopping center has been opened, the possible effects could still linger. The nuclear plant probably had some sort of nuclear waste leaked into the cemetery. Maybe even the fumes soaked into ground. It wouldn't be the first time San Jose had chemical leaks into the public. (See Fairchild) So, not only are there going to be zombies, but they are going to be radioactive zombies. Good luck fighting those guys.


My dad and I have decided that the best place to go during a zombie attack would either be Wal-Mart (everything you need to survive), Walgreens (the only windows are at the very top of the walls and they are small), and,probably the best choice, an Army surplus store (weapons, everything needed to survive, no windows).

You heard it here first. Zombies are going to be from San Jose.

* AKA Oak Hill Zombie Headquarters

Twas The Politically Correct Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

Lets start this!

I've decided to try my hand at blogging. Here's hoping I keep it up!